Help - someone has eaten my day.
I am living a life not dissimilar to a non-working dole-bludging person.
I am up all night, sleeping late, having a shower in the afternoon, nibbling on generic-branded potato chips and using full-strength coffee as a stimulant.
OK, so maybe the dole-bludgers don't have the 2K coffee machine, or the fancy beans, but we both sport track-suited bottoms, from K-Mart. And they're last season's.
The dole-bludger and I watch daytime re-runs of The Nanny, and look forward to 'cheap Tuesday' so that we can go to the cinema on a tight budget and order a pizza that we don't need, at a price which totals pocket-change.
Neither of us is reviewing the careers section of the paper, and we are avoiding our landlord at all costs. Especially if they want to come over and pick lemons from their tree, except we now describe the activity as picking lemons 'off of' a tree. Our grasp on the English language has disintegrated since we have had minimal contact with the outside, professional world.
I've stopped wearing make-up everyday. That's money saved, I figure. I also notice this makes me look younger (bring on the compliments) and more tired (bring on the offers of help).
Finally, like the unemployed, I now think it's perfectly reasonable to be the 'free' when a 'buy one get one free' voucher is utilised.
If only I could leave the house.
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