Day 110 - 29.05.2012

Plants are the new pets.  There are super foods for them (forget the 1970's blood and bone, these days they eat golden pellets of protein) and a countless number of books dedicated to their nurture.  

I have one friend that waters her rose bushes with Evian water.  Tap water is just not good enough.  This same person also uses a leaf shine every four weeks, to make sure her bromeliads sparkle.  And don't think about going around there with a cold. You'll be turned away in case the fern obtains an infection.

What worries me about plant companionship is that avid owners like to give away their produce.  I have an Aunt that likes nothing more than to give me cuttings of her latest Carnation breed. What I do like is when this gift arrives during the fortnight when the green waste bin hits the kerb.  If I have to wait the whole two weeks before I can throw the greenery away, I get too guilty, keep it, and inadvertently starve it to death. I just forget to water it.  

Even though it's staring straight at me on the kitchen counter.  

Every morning.  

And I have not spent one night away from home in over a year.

Unfortunately plants are the new Christmas day gifts.  Puppies and kittens have long ceased to jump out of big-ribboned boxes.  I blame the RSPCA and their animal cruelty campaigns for the increase in plant gifts.  But who in their right mind gives someone a potted Elm Tree?  Luckily garage sales are popular in my suburb. I generally sneak by one on a Saturday morning and dump my unwanted flora in the back of an unattended trailer. 

But I hear that there is worse to come.  I read in the local paper that there are plans for a Pot Plant Day Care Centre. Apparently over-eager owners simply can't bear to leave their miniature citrus trees outdoors over winter.  They must have run out of carer's leave.