Today I got my period. So I won't be doing a Tori Spelling and getting pregnant on the first go after birth. The woman will have no pelvic floor left after baby number 4, as she did not let herself recover. I expect that Tori has whip-em-out c-sections like all the celebs do, but carrying the baby weight around for 10 months at a time can destroy a lady's internal workings.
They say that you can end up with incontinence even if you have a c-section. And old ladies at work have told me horror stories about their uterus' prolapsing in later life. One thing I never want to see is my uterus saying hello when I go to the toilet one day.
Speaking of toilets, today I did the most monstrous poo. The kind that takes six toilet flushes to send away. I will now need to use a high-powered karcher on the toilet brush as it has bits of 'brown food' stuck to it.
Of course, in all of my frantic use of the toilet brush, I sent water that resembles the Ganges all around the bathroom. Some even landed on my foot. So please excuse me while I go and have a shower in pure dettol.
I was hungry before I read this.. really, how did you manage to combine periods, your uterus, and poo in one post? That's talent.
ReplyDeleteI'm all about bodily functions!
ReplyDelete