First order
of business – attempt to sleep in.
This ‘sleep’
is punctuated by me looking at the clock every ten minutes to see if it is time
to get up yet.
End result:
I wake up exhausted and miss out on my 6am
stroll for no good reason.
Step 2 – go
and visit another housewife to try and learn the business of housewifery.
Observe them in their own environment and learn by mimicking I say.
I do this at
10am.
The house I
visit is spotless and reminds me of all the homes my grandparents dragged me to
after school in the 1980’s. 'Visiting' was very popular back then. Especially around 3pm. It was boring for kids as the adults would talk about their aches and pains and there were rarely any pets to play with. My sister and I would sit there and eat the offered packet of 79cent cream biscuits between us.
This left little room for dinner.
But I digress.
I think of my own home and complete involuntary kegel exercises.
It couldn’t be more child unfriendly if I tried. There are
cords and piles of books on every surface.
My baby is going to have to learn to
duck and weave from an early age.
However, in the communication stakes I do well. I hold my own in the topics of discussion. I even drink a cup of tea. I have not drunk tea since June 2011.
Eventually
my telephone's alarm goes off*, reminding me it’s time to leave and forge ahead with the
next activity.
* Can we all start wearing watches again please??
Step 3 – Go
to doctor’s regarding my sore foot.
At some
point I am encouraged to show a nipple.
I oblige.
It’s been a
while since someone asked.
Step 4 –
Donate door stoppers to Salvation Army.
(These are
actually old clothes and shoes that have been piled by the front door to stop
it from slamming). I get home and door slams, with me in the front yard.
Luckily I have left the keys on the outside as per usual.
Note to
self: Buy door snake or hide keys outside.
Step 5 – I
have been given free passionfuit. ‘Good news!’ I think to myself.
I then
proceed to shop for the remaining ingredients to make a passionfruit cake. I
buy $32 worth of items. This is not very economical. I could have bought a
shop-made cake for $6.
Luckily today is a flex day. Real maternity leave doesn’t start until Monday. Therefore today I am technically cashed up.
Potential
activities whiz through my head.
I am
thinking of visiting each Facebook friend this year, to see how they really
live.
Knock
knock!!
Who’s home?
Welcome to come visit us! ... be assured you will NOT find it spotless! :)
ReplyDeleteThe passionfruit cake looks divine!!! I'm also glad that the overpriced vanilla bean dusting also looks lovely! Very suitable for a trendy pantry shelf!
ReplyDeleteI think it is interesting when we are pregnant and as mothers we all put pressure on ourselves to be a certain 'type' of mother but at the same time keeping our pre-baby selves. I find this never changes and I still find myself swinging between the two. My boy may be 14 but I still grapple with the thoughts about what 'type' of mother I should be. I think the most important thing to remember is to be YOU and let your child love you for YOU and who you are.
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you! - Dr Seuss