Housewife tips:
# 1 - If you have just farted, and find guests at your door unexpectedly, tell them that you had eggs for lunch.
# 2 - If you have a sink full of dishes, tell visitors that the faucet is not working.
# 3 - If you have not vaccuumed, tell guests that you are participating in a CSIRO study on dust mite cultivation.
# 4 - If your shower is covered in soap scum, tell visitors that the cleaners did a terrible job.
# 5 - If a pet has peed on the floor, tell guests you were just about to mop with ammonia.
# 6 - If light globes have blown and you have been too lazy to change them, tell visitors you are reducing your carbon footprint.
# 7 - If you have run out of spring water, serve guests tap water masked with lemon. Or Sprite if you have no lemons.
# 8 - If you have run out of fingerpaints, use dusty sideboards for creating art instead.
# 9 - It is OK to drink at any time, so long as you wash your wine glass before your husband gets home.
# 10 - If none of your clocks can agree on the time, choose which suits you, even if it is set to last summer's daylight savings.
#9... very handy.
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