This is the day where bad things happen. Supposedly. Well, I can report that I have had an altercation today without leaving the front yard.
I stepped outside with CupCake, and a large dog (I'll say HUGE even) came bounding forward, aggressively barking at me. I am a cat person, so I did the first thing that came to me - I screamed a big lady scream!
I was scared of this big hulk of a dog. I thought it was going to eat my little baby.
As we live along a walking trail, I wasn't sure whose dog it was. I then went into round two of instinct. My rant went a little like this (loud enough for people a kilometre away to hear):
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING UGLY DOG!
In retrospect I wish I had not said this. Not because it turned out to be the apple & pasta thrower's dog (neighbour), but because I said the word fuck too often. It loses it's impact if said repeatedly.
What I should have said was:
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I RAM A STICK UP YOUR ARSE YOU UGLY SON OF A BITCH! AND IF YOU ARE A GIRL DOG, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A BOYFRIEND! AND TELL YOUR OWNER TO GO EAT A FEIJOA! SKIN AND ALL.
I need to re-live the moment.
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